at 2'0 clock in the night, today i feel the day was not usual, there was a lot of boggling and toggling in my mind before coming to write here, and really i should admit that i finally chose to come here because it was the last choice left today. i am myself surprised how such a change has come in life but as "intelligent" , "experienced ", and "mature" people say that the only thing permanent is change.
AN APPEAL TO THE READER
well if somehow somebody happens to read this post, i wanna tell outrightly that "blogs" as such are perceived as containing useful posts which interest the readers and may provide sometimes some useful stuff, but i am sorry as this post atleast has nothing to offer. also i know people write here so that others can read, it is an irony i am posting something which does not come under something which can be qualified for being here. so if you don wanna waste your further time, i will suggest you to leave this post incompletely read and search for some informational, intelligent and insightful posts.
So i was talking about change. i think a lot has changed with me too. as for my position, i being a marketing student should have been posting something about a brand, a product, segmentation, attitude, behavior and a lot other choices available but i am writing something which even i don know will finish where and started when.
though maybe nothing has changed in me and itz just that i FEEL others are pretty more "tactful", "resourceful" and "factual" when they speak or say something and i ASSUME they are more intelligent and clear about all the essential things they are related to. but the important thing here is that i "FEEL" and "ASSUME" so, itz not really true. and i also wanna make clear that if i am talking all this shit here, it doesn mean i cannot talk sensibility or i cannot say what i wanna say directly. i also wanna inform "any" unlucky reader if he has still not left that at this time i donno whether i will write two more lines or two more paragraphs or something more than that, but i surely know i wun say anything clearly because i am pretty unsure about a lot of things(but the problem is i am not unsure of myself), itz just that i "myself" is the only "commodity" which i am sure about. i also wanna emphasize that any word like "commodity" which i am using has got an essence and has been carefully chosen.
it is also a fact that itz just my second post, months after my first one and i am still at the same feeling which i had when i started writing this blog. i remember it was me saying to people until about an year ago that "like a sharp pencil makes clear sketches, sharp wit gives a person insight to see everything clearly and take out best out of him" but the beauty of life is that time makes you disbelieve what you had once not just propagated, but made people around you believe that itz essenceful too by all the wit, politics, diplomacy and what not. today as i see this i find that "as rugged pictures convey more than sharp pictures and look more beautiful, a confused state with all that sharp wit vanished may be much better" but again itz all a matter of what you believe and what you dont. when you convey yourself as what you are not (if you do it with dedication and passion), you find people saying that "haa, this guy is so mature about things" and you yourself start thinking that you are essentially what you are conveying. but as you gain experiences (meaningful experiences which don just shake you from inside but have power to screw you up entirely), you find that you really start knowing what the truth actually is;
{**when i am saying "truth", i means "truth" because we may always argue whats right or wrong, whats truth or lie, but somethings can still be easily differentiated(though after you find that had you known this before, life would have been pretty more easy and convenient)**} but now you find that your pencil is no longer sharp to have a clear picture (though the used, rough and rugged pencil may appear to be making more beautiful picture) , so itz not that you cannot convey now , itz that you don wanna do that. but "they", the mature ones say that you need to be serious in life and you are just a useless stuff; and the irony is that you not only let "them" define the definition of "usefulness" and "uselessness", u silently agree too!!!
i really thought a lot before coming here to write all this, not about my situation but whether i should write all this here; and i admit that before i could make any decision, i became helpless and was left with no other choice.
"they" say that in life "facts" matter not the "feelings" and feelings and emotions are not strong enough to be given more importance than the bloody facts, all crap. a fact can give you a sleepless night or two but a feeling can make even your days seem "unworthy" and that too not just for a day or a week but indefinitely and when i say this itz not because i am caught up in come vicious circular agony inside my heart, itz because it is so, and believe me i am not of a dictating attitude to force and argue with someone to agree on my points till he finds me irrelevant and feels "ohhh, he is impossible, itz better i surrender"!!!
well i just went up my post again and found that i have messed up a lot of things, grammer, punctuation, not even cared about length of sentences and whether they are making the same sense as to what i was thinking, but i din edit anything because i have realised that one should not always say everything whats in him clearly and i really don want this piece of writing to make sense and let any "intelligent" reader understand what do i mean and why am i sounding intentionally confused and lost with no clarity of thought left in my "mind".
but some events make you a think a lot and eventually help you evolve and become somewhat better than what you are today. letz see how "evolving" my this mind boggling and toggling becomes.........
i don feel like stopping but i don really know why i am stopping here with ofcourse no knowledge when i will be back...
thanx for bearing with me for so long
P.S. -if you somewhat understand what i was saying, you are still a human being, otherwise believe me you are just an intelligent piece of unworthy shit (you are intelligent because u perceive urself to be so, truth is opposite)
sorry if it all seemed like a crap by some "immature", "inexperienced" and "useless" creature
