"वो"

(hii reader,

this poem is dedicated to the dream girl of my life,

i wrote it a long back ago,

but still feel the same,

and still wanna have someone like this in my life......)

मेरे दिल की हर धड़कन में है 'वो'

जब देखता हूँ उसे खिलखिलाते हुए

लगता है जैसे

मिल गयी है ज़माने भर की ख़ुशी

न जाने इतनी सच्ची क्यों है

न जाने इतनी अच्छी क्यों है 'वो' !!

मरता हूँ उसे देखने के लिए

करता हूँ प्यार उससे

उसकी बातों से

उसकी आवाज़ से

उसकी हंसी से

उसकी आँखों के अपनेपन की कश्ती से

जिसमे खुद को देख

लगता है मानो दूर क्षितिज में ले जा रही है 'वो' !!

चाहता हूँ आज बनाना रिश्तों का ऐसा पुल

जो मिला दे उन किनारों को

जिसके एक तरफ वो है और एक तरफ मैं

ना जाने क्यों तड़पता हूँ उसके साथ रहने के लिए

मान लेना चाहता हूँ उसकी सब बातों को

क्या मैं जानता हूँ उसे दिल से

क्या मैं चाहता हूँ उसे दिल से

ये तो बता सकती है सिर्फ 'वो' !!

जब मिलता हूँ उससे तो लगता है

जैसे सब कुछ है मेरे पास

जैसे मिल गयी हो सारी ख़ुशी

पा गया हूँ जो हमेशा चाहता था

पर फिर भी जैसे लगता है

अभी खुशियाँ और भी हैं

मंजिलें और भी हैं

और जानता हूँ

उन मंजिलों तक मुझे पहुंचा सकती है सिर्फ 'वो' !!

जानता हूँ जिंदगी में बहुत हैं रंग

जी भी सकता हूँ शायद उनके संग

पर जब देखा उसे दिल से उठी यही तरंग

ऐ दिल बता कौन सा है ये नया रंग !!

जानना चाहता हूँ क्या यही है 'वो'

जिसे कभी बचपन में

देखा करता था सपनों में

सपने उसके भी हैं

मंजिलें उसकी भी हैं

पर नहीं पता मुझे

उन सपनों में मेरी मंजिल को कब देख पायेगी 'वो' !!

बता देना चाहता हूँ

मैंने भी छीन लिया है उसका चैन

जानता हूँ उसकी एक एक बात को

उसकी एक एक सोच को

समझता हूँ

आंसुओं के पीछे छुपे दर्द को

उसे रोते हुए देख नहीं सकता

फिर भी देखता हूँ

क्योंकि चाहता हूँ

सब दर्द बह जाएँ उन आंसुओं के साथ

जिससे

फिर से हँसे और मुस्कुरा सके 'वो' !!

और लिख सकता हूँ

ना जाने कितना

ना जाने कितनी देर

ना जाने कितनी बातें

पर

रुक जाना चाहता हूँ

सिर्फ ये सोचकर

की

" क्या हमेशा साथ दे पाएगी वो " !!!!

hii again,,

i wrote this poem for "someone",

for "someone" i always have thought of......

though this may have nothing to do here ,,,

but my all posts have been totally illogical so may be you could bear with this one too...

anyways......

i saw a lot of girls

even got close to some

fell in school love, college love, even expressed it

as the mature ones say you should always say what you feel....

but today as I look back....

i feel that still that "someone" has got a place in my heart, (a pretty important place rather)...

i know this reveals the heights of my emotions...

but "this is it"

sorry readers i could not again write anything beneficial to you here ....

lets see..

Relationships!!!

Hi

Before writing anything, I will apologize to my blog post that i have come to talk about relations here but have somehow not been able to maintain suitable "relation" with the blog even... I hope people to visit my blog and neglect it (my blog, it is my third post) myself... it does not mean that i have a bad heart or I do not have that "caring" attitude; itz just that I keep postponing. When I started with this blog I always thought I will take utmost care with visiting this blog; keep it updated... but somehow I FAILED!!!

Though I may give several reasons that I was busy; din have time to think about blogging; don generally have anything to write or say.. blah blah blah...... but these again are just excuses!!!!!

This is what exactly happens in relationships.... we sometimes forget, sometimes fail, sometimes genuinely become uninterested... and as a result all the promises that we make in the beginning are just gone... and then we start finding reasons..... and above all, being mature-responsible-gentle-educated-experienced we know these things and therefore feel we have every reason to do anything we feel like with anybody, anywhere, anytime etc..

I know I am sounding as a pessimist because after a long period I return to write something and then write about relationships.... neglecting all other important "other" things that i could do against talking about this pretty and ordinary and obvious philosophical stuff!! But this attitude of ours to give least priorities to people who are with us and our relations with them is mostly the reason why relations fail and importantly is something we have our most control on.. but but but as we are human beings and we are allowed to make mistakes and we cannot be logical and normal always; we can neglect people... we can break promises!!

Remember the time when cupid attacked you for the first time........

Remember how you felt. Why only you...... me too!!!

Yes, when cupid stroked the first time, we felt like we will do every possible thing to make it stay and we will do all our efforts.. to do what should be done but..... we are WE... we just forget it after sometime.... and then say

"TIMES CHANGE U KNOW"

Similarly our friends, our siblings, our parents...... with everybody over the years relations sometimes take a negative side.. and it is NOT because we become mature with age... itz because we become uncaring....

I am not an expert in relationships and I will request any serious, sophisticated, mature, developed, logically sound reader to forgive me for all this is a nonsense crap.. itz not for you buddy!!!!

Relationships just start and end. When they start, we have nothing in our hands... but we try hard and harder to carry them .... later when we have everything in our hands,, we don do anything.... they end!!!!! Sometimes things are different when even after you do what should be done.. they fail.. in that case nothing can be done.... because if someone just forgets everything and takes an appeal that he has to make a mess.. then nobody can do anything..... just fuck off such people.. they are not important though they seem to be....

I thought I will write something logical about relationships.. but even now cannot express the way I want it to be expressed.... in the similar fashion we fail to express the way we want to!!!!

BUT, itz not the words that are just important... itz that genuine extra unselfish effort that we make to make our relations fruitful is most important..

Life goes on... people meet and go... but relations are forever...

With this I sign off... because I am myself confused now. But when you are in a relation and are confused.. don fear to accept this... nobody can be 100% sure of what should be done when it comes to relationships!!!!

SO just hope for good,, think for good,, and keep trying to make the relations more beautiful.. YOU MAY NEVER WHEN WITH A NEW DAY.. everything may completely change!!!!

(sorry to end in a negative tone)

Keep investing in your relationships... come what may!!!!!

disguised abilities

at 2'0 clock in the night, today i feel the day was not usual, there was a lot of boggling and toggling in my mind before coming to write here, and really i should admit that i finally chose to come here because it was the last choice left today. i am myself surprised how such a change has come in life but as "intelligent" , "experienced ", and "mature" people say that the only thing permanent is change.

AN APPEAL TO THE READER

well if somehow somebody happens to read this post, i wanna tell outrightly that "blogs" as such are perceived as containing useful posts which interest the readers and may provide sometimes some useful stuff, but i am sorry as this post atleast has nothing to offer. also i know people write here so that others can read, it is an irony i am posting something which does not come under something which can be qualified for being here. so if you don wanna waste your further time, i will suggest you to leave this post incompletely read and search for some informational, intelligent and insightful posts.

So i was talking about change. i think a lot has changed with me too. as for my position, i being a marketing student should have been posting something about a brand, a product, segmentation, attitude, behavior and a lot other choices available but i am writing something which even i don know will finish where and started when.

though maybe nothing has changed in me and itz just that i FEEL others are pretty more "tactful", "resourceful" and "factual" when they speak or say something and i ASSUME they are more intelligent and clear about all the essential things they are related to. but the important thing here is that i "FEEL" and "ASSUME" so, itz not really true. and i also wanna make clear that if i am talking all this shit here, it doesn mean i cannot talk sensibility or i cannot say what i wanna say directly. i also wanna inform "any" unlucky reader if he has still not left that at this time i donno whether i will write two more lines or two more paragraphs or something more than that, but i surely know i wun say anything clearly because i am pretty unsure about a lot of things(but the problem is i am not unsure of myself), itz just that i "myself" is the only "commodity" which i am sure about. i also wanna emphasize that any word like "commodity" which i am using has got an essence and has been carefully chosen.

it is also a fact that itz just my second post, months after my first one and i am still at the same feeling which i had when i started writing this blog. i remember it was me saying to people until about an year ago that "like a sharp pencil makes clear sketches, sharp wit gives a person insight to see everything clearly and take out best out of him" but the beauty of life is that time makes you disbelieve what you had once not just propagated, but made people around you believe that itz essenceful too by all the wit, politics, diplomacy and what not. today as i see this i find that "as rugged pictures convey more than sharp pictures and look more beautiful, a confused state with all that sharp wit vanished may be much better" but again itz all a matter of what you believe and what you dont. when you convey yourself as what you are not (if you do it with dedication and passion), you find people saying that "haa, this guy is so mature about things" and you yourself start thinking that you are essentially what you are conveying. but as you gain experiences (meaningful experiences which don just shake you from inside but have power to screw you up entirely), you find that you really start knowing what the truth actually is;

{**when i am saying "truth", i means "truth" because we may always argue whats right or wrong, whats truth or lie, but somethings can still be easily differentiated(though after you find that had you known this before, life would have been pretty more easy and convenient)**} but now you find that your pencil is no longer sharp to have a clear picture (though the used, rough and rugged pencil may appear to be making more beautiful picture) , so itz not that you cannot convey now , itz that you don wanna do that. but "they", the mature ones say that you need to be serious in life and you are just a useless stuff; and the irony is that you not only let "them" define the definition of "usefulness" and "uselessness", u silently agree too!!!

i really thought a lot before coming here to write all this, not about my situation but whether i should write all this here; and i admit that before i could make any decision, i became helpless and was left with no other choice.

"they" say that in life "facts" matter not the "feelings" and feelings and emotions are not strong enough to be given more importance than the bloody facts, all crap. a fact can give you a sleepless night or two but a feeling can make even your days seem "unworthy" and that too not just for a day or a week but indefinitely and when i say this itz not because i am caught up in come vicious circular agony inside my heart, itz because it is so, and believe me i am not of a dictating attitude to force and argue with someone to agree on my points till he finds me irrelevant and feels "ohhh, he is impossible, itz better i surrender"!!!

well i just went up my post again and found that i have messed up a lot of things, grammer, punctuation, not even cared about length of sentences and whether they are making the same sense as to what i was thinking, but i din edit anything because i have realised that one should not always say everything whats in him clearly and i really don want this piece of writing to make sense and let any "intelligent" reader understand what do i mean and why am i sounding intentionally confused and lost with no clarity of thought left in my "mind".

but some events make you a think a lot and eventually help you evolve and become somewhat better than what you are today. letz see how "evolving" my this mind boggling and toggling becomes.........

i don feel like stopping but i don really know why i am stopping here with ofcourse no knowledge when i will be back...

thanx for bearing with me for so long

P.S. -if you somewhat understand what i was saying, you are still a human being, otherwise believe me you are just an intelligent piece of unworthy shit (you are intelligent because u perceive urself to be so, truth is opposite)

sorry if it all seemed like a crap by some "immature", "inexperienced" and "useless" creature

unknown

The journey to unknown--

Has always led me to unknown ways

And surprisingly very unknown blocks

When i started thinking to

start knowing the unknown

What I could just know was--

That nothing is unknown, so there is nothing known too!

Sounds a bit mystical

So, was it better when i knew

that there are things which are not known to me

or when today i feel that there is nothing known

In any case--

I am at the same place, at the same knowledge

But again as I talk of knowledge--

When there is nothing known or nothing unknown

What did I know and what do I know now!!

So, to answer my questions to the known and the unknown

I talk of perspectives and philosophy

But again when I try to adapt-there starts----

A new journey to the unknown-- now to the

knowledge of the unknown perspectives and thoughts

But then I don't get satisfied - because

How can I classify unknown into things and philosophy

But I could do- it means I have some knowledge

of the unknown, of the things that are unexistent

and the philosophies that again are unexistent.

But today I know(I feel I know)

Though I cannot know because there is nothing to be known

So while writing this, I again start off--

with a journey to unknown--

I am caught in a vicious circle

Now I know it is vicious circle!!

But actually I cannot know because nothing can be known

The confusion arises again

Because if I wrote somethingabout teh unknown

It means logically there is something known about the unknown

And once again--

I start with my journey to the unknown

and as the time just passes by

I feel more graduated, practical, matured..

And usse my new psyche and beliefs to my

new journey to the SAME(??) unknown------

AND THE TIME PASSES BY......................................

..............................................